and the forty three
“this is where we separate. this is where the line ends. you didn't make it on your eighteenth season. that's okay. i only have to wait.”
and the other forty three are the years of longing, wanting to come home. the will to meet, and to kill the desire to see each other again.
(today is your thirty eight birthday. i miss you.)
and the forty three are the years of hoping. because anxious is more like an ally than an enemy. the “what if”s questions didn't seem want to lose.
(today is your fifty six birthday. i baked you a cake. it tastes bittersweet. happy birthday.)
and the forty three are the years of desperation.
(TAKE MY LIFE. TAKE MY GODDAMN LIFE I DON'T CARE I JUST WANNA SEE THEM.. i just.. wanna see them.)
and the forty three are the years of— “i know you wouldn't come to see me. so i wait for my time. to see you.”
(.)
and the forty three are the years of endless counting. wonder when will the count stop. waiting for the count to stop.
(it's my sixty birthday. will i see you soon?)
“this is,” the sixty one is where the count stop. “where we meet again. this is where the line continues and it will never end. we make it to eternity.”
and the forty three are the road to everlasting.
a/n. i use 'they' to refer the person because i want it to be gender neutral.